Lent--I have never liked you!

How is it that Advent, that time leading up to Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year, and Lent, the time leading up to Easter, is my absolute worst? Advent is all about cheer and giving. There are decorations and anticipation. Lent is all about sacrifice, fasting, and self-denial. Not really the best Catholic selling-point! About the only positive to Lent is that McDonald's finally has a market for their filet-o-fish sandwiches. Does anyone ever really order those at any other time of the year?

We always try to hide all of this from our kids of course. We act like we are just as excited about Lent as we were for Advent. They each have a countdown to color their 40-day journey towards Easter. We keep strips of paper on the table and every night, everyone takes a turn filling one in with a kind act they performed that day. By Easter, we usually have a paper chain that goes all the way around our kitchen. It sounds really wonderful, until I realized that every day this week, Daxton's kind act that he has reported to the family was that he was nice to Grace and Alex at the babysitters. It wasn't until 3 days into in the midst of praising him for being so nice that Drew leaned over and whispered, "Mom--you know Grace and Alex haven't gone to the babysitter's for two years now, right?" Dax just got that sheepish grin and said, "well I haven't been mean to them?" Obviously, he is missing the point. In his defense, his Lent started off pretty rough. Going to church to be told that someone is going to rub dirt on your forhead is a hard-sell to kids. He was very nervous and watched anxiously as our turn was coming. My mom and Shawn had finally gotten him calmed down and explained to him that it didn't hurt, it was just ashes, etc. This seemed to calm him and Shawn thought he had gotten off without a complete meltdown until Dawsyn leaned over and told Dax that the ashes don't hurt, it's the sharp, rusty nail they use to carve them into your forhead that does! You can imagine the cooperative walk up the aisle. Shawn was trying to drag a crying Dax with one hand and calmly pinch Dawsyn's arm with the other.

But, we keep reading our Lenten readings every day and talking about our kind acts and what we are giving up (Shawn-pop, Jill-my favorite foods, Drew- 10 minutes of TV a day, Dawsyn- 20 minutes of TV a day (only because she couldn't be outdone by Drew), Delaney- playing the wii, and Dax who changes his sacrifice daily), and rushing towards Easter. We are also preparing for Dawsyn's First Communion. She got to taste the bread and wine yesterday at her class. I remember Drew screwing up his face at the bitter taste of the wine. As I watched Dawsyn's classmates come back with varying looks of having just had what must have been poison. You can imagine my dismay when my daughter took a big chug (her breath still smelled like it an hour later), and got a huge smile on her face and exclaimed, "That was great! I really like that stuff!" Wonderful! I have a second grader who loves the taste of wine--just another worry to add to my growing list.

And then God reminds you that it doesn't really matter how many Lenten Readings you read, what you give up, or how many kind acts you do. What matters is that you meet him where ever you are. You don't have to hide or pretend because you can't. He knows your heart, and he knows your reality, and he knows that tonight, while you were trying to discuss your Lenten activities as a family, your 4 year old quickly brought you back to reality as he woke up from sleeping on the couch, walked up into the kitchen where the rest of the family was sitting around the kitchen table, walked over to the pantry, opened the door, and proceeded to pull down his pants and pee all over the garbage can. We all just sat there in disbelief for a second until Shawn said, "Dax! What are you doing?" At which point he "woke up" and smiled at us, then realized what he was doing and started to cry. Thanks for the reminder, God. As we cleaned up pee from the tallest, greenest toilet we've ever seen, and realized that finding God in that situation by looking at the innocent look on our little man's face, might be what Lent is all about. (but I'm still not letting them eat meat on Friday--old habits die hard).