Remember when...

...your life felt like a steamy soap opera? Ok--so mine was never really all that steamy, but it was at least romantic, and exciting. My whole future lay ahead of me, there was all of this drama, and I still thought I could have a baby and be back in my skinny jeans by the next episode? I realized this morning, as I missed the turn I needed to take to get to the baby-sitters because the kids and I were taking turns looking at the taillights and trunk on the cars ahead of us and telling what kind of emotions the car looked like it had, "that one looks angry--see how it's eyes (aka taillights) are slanted!" (I have to admit Drew had the best one when he found the old Ford truck in front of us that, with the high red taillights, the Ford oval symbol and bright white license plate centered in just the right spot, looked exactly like a beaver), that my life has definitely turned from steamy romance into prime-time sitcom! Now the only steamy scenes that happen are when I leave the mac-n-cheese on the stove too long because I am simultaneously checking homework, nursing a baby, folding laundry, and cooking dinner. The paramount of this realization occurred the other night when I spent 3 hours calling everyone in my phonebook and on my contact list so Drew and Dawsyn could read each of them a poem for the "Great Poem Race" at school. I called numerous people, used up tons of minutes, and gave up three hours of time that could have been spent getting other things done to help Drew and Dawsyn out. This did not go without reward however--yesterday, Drew and Dawsyn proudly took their papers to turn in with every person's name listed and their location (they were proud that they had called Florida, and North Carolina). They were so excited they could hardly wait to get to school. The smile on their faces was worth all the used cell-phone minutes, and time taken, not to mention the number of family members bothered by listening to Shel Silverstein poems! Then, the moment we have all been waiting for...drum roll please....at the end of the day, they come out the doors of the school with.....(Da-Da-Dada-Dum) a plastic gold medal on a cheap piece of string, the type that I am sure can only be bought by the gross, and still wouldn't add up to a dollar! They throw said medal on the floor of the van, where it will forever stay lost in the abyss of papers, parts of crayons, and any amount of left-over fast food particles, and I am reminded of "A Christmas Story"--I think I would have preferred the leg lamp for their MAJOR AWARD! I tried to still keep my game face and say, "Well look at the experience you had--you got a lot of reading practice and talked to many family members who you don't normally get to talk to. Drew's response to this was, "Please mom, the medals all say #1--so even the kid who turns his in a week from now on the last possible day, with only half the names filled in, will still think he's number 1!" Poor kid is just starting to realize how much we promote mediocrity in our society! Not everyone has such low standards however! At Drew's soccer game last night, Delaney had to use the porta-potty (yet another lovely reminder of my sit-com life--did you ever notice you don't EVER see porta-potties on the soap operas???) and I run her over to it, but there is a person in line in front of us. About this time, Delaney starts doing the frantic dance with the look of absolute pain on her face (once again, never done by the cute little kids in the soaps) and I realize that the person in front of us is one of my sixth graders! I kindly ask if Delaney can cut in front of her and she agrees. When Delaney is done, I make her say thank you and as we are walking away, I tell Delaney how this girl is one of the best students I have ever had and that I hope Delaney is a student like her in 6th grade. Delaney's response to this was to look at me very seriously and say, "Is it because all the other kids pick their nose?" What exactly goes on at preschool??? Glad to know that not picking her nose is something she holds in high esteem--Kindergarten should be a great experience!